[SATIRE] CANADIANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT:

Viewing 1 post (of 1 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #253199

    New legislation on the way
    Little satire for you.

    CANADIANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT:
    LIBERAL PARTY CHRISTMAS ANNOUNCEMENT.

    Liberal MP’s in Ottawa are considering introducing legislation that will provide new benefits for many more Canadians, Prime Minister Justin TRUDEAU has announced.

    The CANADIANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Canadians who lack any real skills and ambition.

    “Roughly 50 percent of Canadians do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,” said Prime Minister Justin TRUDEAU.

    “We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over.

    With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing.”

    In a House of Commons press conference, the Minister of Labor Seamus O’REAGAN pointed to the success of Canada Post, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance.

    At the Provincial government level, the Public Service also has an excellent record of hiring Persons with No Ability (63 percent).

    Under the CANADIANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT, more than 2.5 million mid-level positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose & performance.

    Finally, the CANADIANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, “Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?”

    “As a non-abled person, I can’t be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,” said Richard (Dick) HEAD, who lost his position with his employer. “This new law should be real good for people like me. I’ll finally have job security.” With the passage of this bill, HEAD and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

    Said: Minister of Finance, Chrystia FREELAND,“As an MP with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every Canadian with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every Canadian, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so.”

    This message was approved by The Liberal Party of Canada, and all Canadians With No Abilities whatsoever.

    I almost think something like this already exists.

Viewing 1 post (of 1 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

Subscribe to our mailing list to get the new updates!

SIGN UP FOR UPDATES!

NAVIGATION