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I imagined what it would be like to die today.

As I hid in bed, my alarm screaming in my ear, I closed my eyes and envisioned what it would be like to just leave. The idea of every responsibility and stress of life becoming a thing of the past almost made me smile. I think about dying a lot. It’s a constant peaceful destination that looms ahead that often I want to reach sooner rather than later. I can't remember a life where I did not struggle with this paralyzing depression.

Then, I remembered that I had an article to edit on the site. I had an appointment set up at work with a customer. I remembered that, in the end, there was too much to do for me to stop moving. I kept going. I got up and, now, I sit at my desk staring at an almost empty screen trying to think of what to say to you that will make a difference.

Chris Cornell left us today. The creative force behind Soundgarden and Audioslave was found dead in a Detroit hotel room, the night after playing what ended up being his final show. I wonder what it must feel like to be Cornell’s family today. I wonder what it must feel like to have been at last night’s show.

I have sat for years and wondered what it'd be like for those around me to lose me.

If you’re reading this, there’s a fair chance that you know me on some level. I am writing this for a simple reason: to tell you that the only reason I am alive today is because I have sought help. But, beyond that, I seek help. Few days have gone by where I haven’t sent a message to someone, usually under the guise of discussing a new movie trailer or an article I want to write, solely because I need to know that people are still out there who will listen. And they are. They always are.

Being a creative person is difficult. The ability to craft your thoughts in written form and convey them in an accessible way does not mean that you know how to tell those around you how deeply you are struggling. Chris Cornell’s wife of thirteen years, Vicky, told reporters that her husband showed no signs of depression. I don’t doubt that for a moment. It is often when we need help the most that we appear the safest. You do not need to appear safe anymore. Healing begins when we allow ourselves to be the broken, beautifully-hurting people that we are past our facades.

My Twitter handle is @Youngblood_95. This is my Facebook profile page. If you are in need of support or help, send me a message. I can’t promise that I will be able to help, but I will do my best to point you in the direction of those who can. We are a community here at Geeks + Gamers. We are here for each other.

I will need help. I will need a therapist to remind me that the way I process grief and stress is unhealthy. I will need my mother to remind me that she is proud of me. I will need my sister to remind me that even though I’m an idiot, she still loves me. I will need friends to remind me that I am worth their time. I will need my closest friends to remind me that I am safe. I will need you to remind me that my words have meaning. I will need to remind myself that, apart from anyone else’s opinions, I matter.

I wish there was still time for Chris Cornell. However, there is still time for you. Please, I ask today from my side of the screen: Please, stay with us. You are worth so much more than you know. There is still time for things to get better. Let my voice be one of the voices screaming at the top of its lungs that you are worthy.

And, if my voice is the first one you’ve heard in awhile, I hope that you hear it and believe:

You are beautiful. You are loved. You deserve a better tomorrow.