Fiasco of Adventures -Creating new culture

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  • #264910

    The only vampire series I’ve read (that I remember) is Nightlord, which I really enjoyed. I like his self-description of being a guardian demon, rather than a guardian angel (he can’t prevent evil from happening, but he -will- avenge it mercilessly).

    He also uses the scientific method to explore his own condition, as well as a plethora of alternate universes, including magical ones. :)

    I didn’t get the impression of an over-romanticized, Frank-Sinatra-style vampire, either. :)

    #264934
    Victor James
    Premium

      @Roccandil, Sweet, I’ll check out Nightlord because eventually I’m going to have to do way more research on vampires lol. There is so much lore out there that I don’t want to recreate the wheel. Maybe just tweak a existing one.

      #265856
      Victor James
      Premium

        “After deciding being a Mega would be enough to impress his girlfriend Julianna, Kevin Jones dons the mask once again. Having returned to the life of a Mega-hero, Fiasco speeds towards a horrific accident caused by a heavy downpour to aid Talon in rescuing survivors trapped in the wreckage. Racing against the clock, Fiasco pushes his powers to the limit to save lives and earn a much needed win. But, can he pull it off?”

        Hey everyone, here is another chapter of my story Fiasco of Adventures, where the action builds along with the stakes for our hero. Thanks for reading if you do!

        https://victorjames.substack.com/p/fiasco-of-adventures-chapter-5-non?r=19vr6n&s=w&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

        • This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by Victor James.
        #266538
        Victor James
        Premium

          Check out this new Chapter @Roccandil. I’m interested in your critique. :O)

          #266605

          Will do; I’ll let you know! :)

          #266613

          Didn’t notice any grammatical issues. My overall feeling reading the chapter is frustration: Fiasco accepts what everyone else says too easily (including the voice).

          Talon’s actions seem odd: I’m not sure if Talon is manipulating Fiasco, or trying to help him. Talon almost seems too coincidentally negative, like he’s in league with the voice. If Talon doesn’t know how Fiasco’s power works, why not look more on the good side? (Would also be an interesting conflict: a Mega friend who’s encouraging, not realizing that saps Fiasco’s power.)

          The voice also seemed interested in distracting Fiasco from the discovery that he has more potential than he realized.

          #266614
          Victor James
          Premium

            @Roccandil haha dude you nailed it! I actually felt that cold water feeling because part of what you said was soooo spot on! Well done! I’m not even going to point it out because it would be too on the nose. I know I said this before but I mean it this time lol. I am going to publish this thing since the reaction has been pleasant. The plan is to release one more chapter, which, once released, will be a large chunk of the entire story leaning into the third act. I think I found a way to publish that I was looking for, but it will unfortunately take time given this supply chain. I should have planned this better lol.

            Quick question; were you able to follow what was going on easily enough? I only ask because it only ramps up from here. If it’s muddled now, then it will impossible to read later lol.

            Thanks for reading. I should have that last chapter out soon.

             

            #266616

            Yep, followed the action well enough. There may have been a few technical moments on the bridge where I wasn’t entirely clear on what was happening, but I find that’s normal.

            I often skim action sequences: I see them more as inputs and outputs, where the middle can be anything, but whatever happens, I know the author has a specific output in mind, so I don’t worry too much about following the action. :)

            #266617
            Victor James
            Premium

              @Roccandil  haha cool, thanks for answering. I’ll shout you out when I get that next chapter out. It’s going to be very short again, like the Jordin test chapter, but adds more weight for poor Kevin.

              #267129
              Victor James
              Premium

                “Kevin Jones deals with the ramifications from the Modoc Bridge, which have an unexpected and profound effect on his relationship with Julianna.”

                Chapter Six from my story Fiasco of Adventures.

                This will be the last chapter I release before (God Willing) publishing my story. That will take some time, so now would be a great time to catch up! Thanks for reading if you you do.

                #newculture #fiasco #Fiascoofadventures #writingcommunity #themegacosm

                https://victorjames.substack.com/p/fiasco-of-adventures-chapter-6-interlude?r=19vr6n&s=w&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

                #268310

                The premise of this chapter felt a little contrived to me: one damaged bridge, and everything screeches to a halt? I didn’t get the impression the area was an island with one access point! :) I’d also expect a nearby train bridge, and another highway bridge not too many miles away (that’s how it is where I live, and we have hurricanes that can shut things down).

                At worst, I could see items getting a bit more expensive as truckers took longer routes to get to the area, but nothing economically cataclysmic. So, my suspension of disbelief was sorely strained.

                Of course, the point of the chapter is the conflict in which the MC knows something his girlfriend doesn’t, that if she knew, might make her hate him. I’m generally not fond of that class of trope, but I did like how the chapter reveals their relationship development without making it the focus.

                Also, the pacing and construction of the chapter felt well done.

                #268351
                Victor James
                Premium

                  @Roccandil  Hey thanks for reading! Well, I did base New Haven on a real place. It’s a mid-town turning into a city, given its proximity to Nor. Cal, so it’s growing, which I actually get into in the next chapter a bit. Sort of an allegory of Kevin and Julianna’s relationship, so I did choose that town on purpose lol.  The town I chose literally would be hampered by that one bridge collapse. It’s surrounded by mountains with two main thoroughfares, so trucks would have to go around to get there, which cost money, not to mention the materials that were lost in the explosion. But even more expensive can slow down a medium town’s economy. Sport league don’t usually wait for places to build their stadium. Actually, I should put that in before I publish!  That the reason it will cripple the economy is because it will cost so much to get back on schedule to meet the seasons deadlines or else lose the team entirely. Thanks for that catch! I am actually going to add that before I publish. :O)

                  Hmm. I don’t mind the trope I used here. Kevin got himself into this spot by, as you mentioned in the last chapter, not trusting Julianna or himself. The idea for this story came from watching someone who kept digging himself deeper into holes. In fact, most of my friends seem to have done this with wonderful women in their lives at one point lol. So, a lot of what I’m writing is from what I’ve observed being their wingman.

                  Glad the pacing and construction was at least on point. I’m learning here lol.

                  Thanks for reading, I really do appreciate it. It’s been a lifelong goal to publish something, so this really will be the last chapter I release because the rest of the story is wild lol. I’m searching for a cover artist as we speak and getting a distributor as well! I’ll link the finished product, God willing, in the next few months. I might start posting my next novel actually since I’m halfway done. And this one is tricky so far.

                  #268394

                  “Hmm. I don’t mind the trope I used here. Kevin got himself into this spot by, as you mentioned in the last chapter, not trusting Julianna or himself. The idea for this story came from watching someone who kept digging himself deeper into holes. In fact, most of my friends seem to have done this with wonderful women in their lives at one point lol. So, a lot of what I’m writing is from what I’ve observed being their wingman.”

                  Yeah, that’s a personal preference on my part. Hiding something for fear of losing someone is inherently manipulative, and a relationship based on manipulation doesn’t interest me. I much prefer relinquishment in characters: willingness to lose others, at least in my experience, is much rarer, but speaks to inner strength I admire.

                  To put it another way, in human affairs, the remarkable thing is not finding entropy, but ever finding anything else. I don’t enjoy stories about entropy, whether in relationships or not, because ultimately entropy grinds everything into uniformity, which is dull.

                  Overcoming entropy is much more interesting. :)

                  #268437
                  Victor James
                  Premium

                    @Roccandil  I agree, it is being manipulative, yet I feel a sense of entropy, when it comes to this hero and this relationship, is needed. They seemed to do this a lot in the past with superheroes, where they were flawed from the beginning. I don’t see Spiderman being as awesome as he is without being selfish in the beginning and letting that criminal get away. Or Cap failing and Bucky dying. Or Thunderbird dying in the new X-Men second mission. To me, early failure used to be a hallmark of a hero, that he had to persevere through.

                    Kevin is not this born to be a hero kind of guy, who makes all the right choices in the face of adversity. He’s basically a good guy who is lazy, and half-azzing his way through life who lucked out with Julianna. If he is going to be a hero, he’s going to have to learn and he’s going to have to earn it. To me, too many characters these days know what to do all the time from day one. Villains are always given such nuance these days that most are anti-heroes with great stories, but heroes seems to be pretty vanilla. At least to me. This is why I feel there hasn’t really been current (American) heroes who have resonated with people like those in the past. Manga seems to get it though. Nearly every hero in Manga is severely flawed personally, and fail early on. My hope is to give Kevin some real flaws to overcome, not just Mal’s, but internal ones as well that being with Julianna is exposing.

                    You can’t overcome entropy without first introducing it. :O) Love the feedback! I hope others don’t mind the trope! lol.

                     

                    • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by Victor James.
                    #268608

                    I haven’t been a big superhero fan, though I do like what was arguably the first modern superhero: the Grey Seal, by Frank Packard:

                    Jimmie Dale

                    I enjoy a competent MC solving interesting problems (which is the Grey Seal!). So, in the case of Fiasco, I’d be more interested in the story if the focus were his trying to figure out his power in order to improve and master it.

                    But that’s just me. :)

                  Viewing 15 posts - 46 through 60 (of 67 total)
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