Yesterday was a bit rough…
If you’d like to watch the full presentation, you can check it out here.
E3 Broadcast Pre-show
Coming soon to a shopping channel near you, these vacuous twats again. One of them made an ass-to-mouth joke four minutes before Nintendo’s showcase… I’m sure there are no kids waiting for this, and people aren’t trying to normalize talking about sex 24/7.
Nintendo / Nintendo Direct
What we’ve all been waiting for!
Best of the showcases so far, despite the number of remakes, re-releases, and reboots. Nintendo’s hosts were the most pleasant, and they didn’t ooze that bullshit, salesman aura we’re seen for the first three days.
Nintendo Direct Treehouse
We got to see some playable gameplay footage with a few of the Nintendo games just shown. This is what people wanted on day one, in my opinion. Even if you’re not a fan of the games being played, at least we’re seeing and hearing people play and enjoy some video games. Imagine booking something like that at a gaming convention! Madness!
If I’d been passed a joypad and asked to join in for any of those games, I would have obliged. Great show, Nintendo. Domo!
Bandai Namco Presentation
Umm, that was it; one trailer. Then we spoke to these guys for a while. Well, they spoke to each other and discussed the future of E3. Spoiler: E3 is going to try to push this year’s format into the future, and this bunch was here to make it sound like a good thing. Fuck… right… off.
This collection caught me off guard, as I didn’t see the announcement. Some nice-looking titles.
GameSpot / Play For All Showcase
Just like yesterday, before we get anywhere near seeing a video game, someone is reading from the pamphlet and force-feeding us lines about diversity and other pandering bollocks. In these titles, I saw lots of self-inserts into blatant knock-offs of the creator’s favorite game. That’s fine if you want to make your own version of another game with yourself as the lead/made better by you. Just keep it over there, and don’t cry when not everyone likes it. Telling people they HAVE to like you or your game because you’re [a label] is a shitty thing to do and you know it! Have faith that your game will succeed on its own merit – unless there’s something you’re not telling us…
Here are their trailers for games containing “self-identity fun stuff” and the like; honestly, that was a quote.
Viewers in the chat were dropping like flies at this shit. You could just watch the counter spinning down and down. I even chimed in that I wasn’t enjoying myself a couple of times and got banned. Lovely.
It was followed by another race-bait and switch tactic. People turned up on time for the awards and were met with another conference call with people too focused on skin color and division than working hard on a good game.
Official E3 Award Show
The hollow hosts said, “Most anticipated game,” but all I could hear was, “Game we want you to buy the most.”
And the award for the worst E3 goes to… yup, this year! I haven’t even been to E3 before, and I haven’t watched footage from all of them, but unless one year there was a huge disaster (I dunno, like a giant mecha came to life and rampaged) and people were injured/killed, I can’t see how any live event could possibly be worse than this. As I always say, balance is beautiful, and there wasn’t much of that this year. It seemed very heavy on the forced advertising and suggestive thoughts and not very fun.
I’m not even sure what these awards are worth. I’m convinced even I have a couple of participation awards in one of my bags full of freebies.
That’s it for E3 this year. Thank you very much for joining me on this wondrous adventure into a virtual video game festival. If you don’t follow me over to other topics I write about, and I don’t see you again, please keep this in mind:
— Danny Damage🕶️ (@BluntDamage) June 15, 2021
COMING SOON to DannyDamage.co.uk, PUTTING IT BLUNTLY: How To Play Video Games! Please keep an eye out for that!
Background Artwork Designed by Rachael Hope.