A Married Man and His Surrogate Had an Affair. Now They’re in a Wild Custody Fight.
A Canadian court is weighing a surrogacy tug-of-war with a twist: A woman who bore a child for a married couple wants joint guardianship of the baby because she had an affair with the father.
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The surrogate, identified in British Columbia court documents only by the initials K.B., says she was engaged in an extramarital relationship with the father—also identified by his initials, M.S.B.—but volunteered to serve as a surrogate for him and his wife because she “wanted to support their marriage.” After a failed attempt to inseminate her artificially, however, she claims he suggested they try to conceive naturally…
What lead to this?
The trio allegedly traveled to India in July 2016 to implant one of the wife’s frozens embryos into K.B.’s uterus, but the pregnancy didn’t take. A month later, K.B. claims, the couple asked her to act as their surrogate using her own eggs.
Instead of impregnating her at a fertility clinic or with a home insemination clinic, however, K.B. says the husband suggested he impregnate her naturally—just as he had done twice before.
You agreed to this?
K.B. and M.S.B. met in the spring of 2014, according to court documents, and K.B. says they began having an affair shortly thereafter. She claims she became pregnant by M.S.B. twice during this time, and both times ended the pregnancy by abortion.
So M.S.B. knew K.B. was fertile and could conceive with his sperm.
Despite this, K.B. claims she wanted to support M.S.B in his existing marriage, and offered to serve as a surrogate for him and his wife of five years, who were having trouble conceiving.
The issue was with the wife’s eggs then.
He admits to the affair but claims it did not begin until after the child was conceived, and that the plan was always for him and his wife to be the legal parents of the child. The couple has submitted multiple text messages to the court in which K.B. expresses excitement about carrying their child for them, as well as a signed surrogacy agreement from July 2016 that states the couple will take “full responsibility of the child.” (K.B. denies having signed this.)
Really?
Both parties acknowledge signing a May 2017 agreement giving full custody of the child to the married couple and allowing K.B. some visitation rights, but the mistress claimed she signed this only because she believed they were necessary for her daughter to receive health-care coverage.
So you signed (or resigned) such an agreement.
But the relationship between the trio began to fray when the married couple says K.B. began making “progressively greater demands”—including a formal schedule for her visits with the child and a $100,000 payment. (The couple says they paid her $40,000 for her expenses in 2017; K.B. claims this was a “gift” from the husband.) The relationship between K.B. and the husband ended in the summer of 2018, and by February 2020, the married couple was denying her any visitation rights at all.
and on and on and on.
Do we need to make laws governing the use of surrogates, how they can be inseminated, and what the rights/payments/etc each are entitled to?
With this happening more and more often.
Does the whole “REPRODUCTION INDUSTRY” needs to be fully regulated?
Even now, we get stories of anonymous sperm donors, who signed their rights to any child is not theirs and that they have no financial stake in it, are now being sued for child support… and are forced to pay!
To freezing eggs in the hopes of finding the right sperm later in life, to sperm jacking, to falsely claiming to be on the pill (when they know they are not) in order to entrap others, etc.
Me, I would say YES. We need regulations as right now, it is a mess. What rights does one have? What financial and visitation rights does one have?
Does the right of one wanting to stay anonymous/no contact gets their rights overruled by the parent or child because they want to know more.
Can eggs and sperm be sold? And do those selling them have any rights to the child? Does the child have any rights in knowing private/personal information of the donor(s)?
Welcome to the 21st century!
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