Bayonetta Series Review: Bayonetta was always straight

Why the woke can NEVER take icon ownership over Bayonetta (Spoiler warning for the first 2 Bayonetta games)

For a long time now, we gamers, have been thoroughly enjoying video game content for over decades now without ever questioning the heroism or identity of the characters we play in our games. We played Mario without even caring that he’s an Italian plumber or Donkey Kong who was banana craving ape jumping on King K. Rools minions, we just enjoyed our games and had fun. In more recent history, however, we have slowly seen our content being taken over by the mainstream media and pushing to make it popular and more “inclusive” to people whom the false media narrative supporters claim is considered “marginalized” in our gaming community.
As these false narratives are galvanizing wokesters, we are continuously being falsely accused of being bigots and other nasty buzzwords the ‘woke activists’ like to use to justify their demonizing, zealous, and overall ignorant behaviors towards the gaming community. With their backward ideology, they have pitted gamers against each other and used the opportunity to make claims on characters for being associated with the groups they deemed “marginalized.” In this case, I am referring to our hot topic at hand: Bayonetta.
As social media had a recent meltdown over one of the most disrespectful spoilers in video game history, heterophobia sweeps the internet as the woke activists makes false claims of “Bayonetta being iconically gay” while she kisses a male character… Shortly after hearing this news, in the most laughable take the delusional wokesters have ‘magically’ made up, I simply stated “since when?” I decided to do what any REAL GAMER would do and replay through Bayonetta leading up to the third installment to understand why they think Bayonetta is a “strictly gay character.”
This makes me ask a very strong question since when do certain groups get to claim “exclusivity” to a video game character? The point of a video game character is to be fun and likable for everyone to enjoy, in one buzzword that the woke certainly enjoy misusing: “inclusive.” As I begin to play, I remember my first playthrough on PS3, how much fun the gameplay was, and immediately forgot all the false narratives recently surrounding the character as I re-immersed myself into the story of this Umbra Witch and remember why her game was always a character for EVERYONE.
As I begin to play Bayonetta on the Switch, I am introduced to the wonderful opening about a dead character named “Eggman” (Immediately noticing Sega’s references) and a woman clad in a white nun outfit, reading hymns from a bible while Enzo (the best Joe Pesci impersonator) is asking for the “Nun” to hurry up since it’s raining and he wants to make it back home to his family while mocking the heavens. As he walks away, a heavenly light appears behind him as he begs for forgiveness and hides behind a tombstone as our Nun shows her true colors. This iconic cinematic is what brings us to the true introduction to our Anti-Heroine whose quick-witted responses are reminiscent of something you’d see out of a Tarantino film. An iconic moment for Bayonetta, Sega, and Platinum Games.

As you play through that first level, you are introduced to Rodin, A tough-looking, No-Nonsense bad MFer with a deep voice and tattoos, this guy is your Weapons Dealer…FROM HELL! This character also reminds me of Tarantino films as Rodin has these suave characteristics, with sadistic undertones that make him an iconic character in his own right. As you complete this level, you’re introduced to the store mechanics, fight mechanics, and really what this story is going to be about while giving you some loose storytelling from the little files you find around each level.
As you move forward in the gameplay, you are introduced to Jeanee, A blonde equivalent to Bayonetta who appears to know her past, rather than being friends she’s more of an obstacle than a comrade. What happened those 500 years ago? Bayonetta doesn’t know any more than you do, but something is made clear throughout the game. Despite, Jeanee being in the game and her hidden friendship with Bayonetta, Bayonetta herself spends an awful lot of time around men in the first game. Rarely do we ever see her react with any other characters than men.
Even when you take into account the fights and team-ups with Jeanee, she continuously hangs around guys like Enzo, Rodin, and Luka. Luka is the only male character Bayonetta gives an intimate nickname to, Calling him “Cheshire” as in Alice in Wonderland, Cheshire Cat. He’s also the only character who both gives and receives intimate/humorous moments from Bayonetta. At what point does the Alphabet Brigade think they have claims to Bayonetta’s sexual identity when I can’t even find a real example beyond the few “close body” fight scenes with Jeanee?

After I beat Bayonetta and find out her Dad/Lumen Sage was behind the big lead for the search of “The eyes of the World” (My brain just keeps going JoJo reference), I make my way to Bayonetta 2 with the first level hanging around with (You guessed it) Enzo again. The weird relationship these two have is a constant slapstick joke with Bayonetta getting Enzo to carry luggage around for her stuff while he shops for his kids presents on Christmas. We cut into the story further with Bayonetta catching up with, A now long-haired beauty, Jeanee who drops by to talk about a “disturbance between the three realities” and demons and angels becoming restless.
The story starts its battle with Enzo purchasing a Jet when the “platinum jets” flew by for his kids and (not shockingly enough) a jet begins to crash into the store. As the battle ensues, Bayonetta needs her trusty tetrad set of guns since the ones she bought were ‘cheap purchases’, and sure enough: Rodin, Satan’s Santa approaches bearing arms of Christmas cheer for convenience to the plot and gameplay. Shortly after the big fight and your final summon kills the enemy, You then see your dear friend Jeanee push you out of the way as she is killed and sent straight to hell before your eyes as you now have to fight the demon you just summoned to finish your first boss fight.
And ya know, for a game that the woke audience iconically sees Bayonetta gay, she sure spends a lot of time around men. It seems too convenient to just have Jeanee out of commission so quickly too. This brings me to the primary plot of the story: Your goal is to rescue Jeanee from hell before her body decays and her rescue becomes unsalvageable. Is this a rescue the princess twist or is it just doing what good friends do for each other when they’re in a bind this whole time throughout Bayonetta, She only refers to Jeanee as a friend.
To drive this point home, let’s break down Bayonetta as a character: Bayonetta is not a character that has a sense of shame and although she keeps many things to herself, she’s never shy about expressing herself either. So even if wokesters who want to argue “oh it’s coded language” or ” Oh Bayonetta comes off as too butch” the fact remains: Since when does Bayonetta care about judgment from other people or has a sense of shame? The answer is: Never. Jeanee, at heart, is just a friend to Bayonetta, and wokesters that deliberately misinterpreted, are not the real fans of Bayonetta.
As I finish Bayonetta 2, I still see that throughout the entire game, we barely see Bayonetta interacting with any women on an intimate or personal level, only the men she comes across, including the God of Chaos (who gives a kiss of life to Bayonetta). The game finishes with Loki defeating his evil half with the help of Bayonetta and Balder from the past who takes in the pure evil spirit of Loki’s evil side (Aesir) and gets flung back to his original timeline which corrects the entire timeline for Bayonetta’s first game to make sense. The only brief moments Bayonetta even comes close to an intimate moment is when she humorously phrases “Do you need a kiss to wake you up?” to Jeanee who is waking up from hell itself to be returned to her body.
I even bothered to look up any hidden cutscenes on YouTube to see if there was any extra content that the woke make try to use to discredit my findings in the games, and sure enough, NO HIDDEN CUTSCENES. So even when I finish Bayonetta 2, We see ZERO same-sex interaction with Jeanee or any woman for that matter. This ultimately leads to the question that the woke mob continuously makes false claims time after time: “Where do you see Bayonetta being sexually attracted to women?”
The answer is simple: None. The woke mob just made another false statement about a video game character without doing ANY RESEARCH or playing ANY BAYONETTA GAMES. Now I know asking for common sense out of the regressive thinkers the left has provided is like asking chickens to lay golden eggs, but at what point will these video game developers start to realize that the left doesn’t play or buy video games that they’ve falsely claimed to enjoy? At this point, we the real gamers, need to start calling these liars out and asking for proof that they played the games they claim to enjoy before we even start taking them seriously at this point because a real gamer has no shame in showing the hours they played. Thankfully you can see that when you look at your play time on your consoles.
To finish this article, I would like to finish up my overall review of playing Bayonetta 1+2. The Bayonetta series as a whole is more of a continued gameplay style to games like Devil May Cry, Action Beat-em-Ups that require quick-timed reactions and over-the-top display of character power. Bayonetta, by all means, isn’t a game you’d just play for the story as most of the story is confined to reading and cutscenes. The story doesn’t have the tightest structure as far as making perfect sense but makes up for it by how well the characters fly out at you with their quirks and characteristics.
Bayonetta is the all-too-OP witch that she is and the attitude to match, Jeanee is the second-best follow-up, Enzo is the loud-mouth Joe Pesci Impersonator, Rodin is the slick fallen angel/demon weapons dealer, and Luka is our journalist chasing after his stories and telling the stories he’s uncovered without redacting or omitting a single detail.(Kotaku and other media outlets could learn a thing or two from Luka). These characters are what makes these games great and without them being as they are, the game would be utterly boring.
Even the story of how Bayonetta’s parents were of two opposite clans of magical power, The love they shared, how the Witch’s and Sages both ended tragically by the angels of Paradiso’s agenda to control the Eyes of the World, The mislead Baldur, and the legacy he left behind were all such big moments of the story to Bayonetta’s history. I caught a tear at how tragic her story as a character actually is when you see how her family and clan were torn apart. We see the closure of Bayonetta’s past with her father and how he was a hero who self-inflicted himself with evil to save humanity(Even fulfilled her dad’s request to be called “daddy”), Rosa/Bayonetta’s mom, whose life was cut tragically short by Loki’s evil half, The love child that they raised and sacrificed their lives to protect, and Loki completing his task for allowing humanity to live of true free will (without the Eyes of the World).

All these moments live in Bayonetta and I find it sad that some people would rather try to pervert such a beautiful character to their agendas than just play and enjoy the series. As I played through both previous titles, not once is there any secret sexual tension, or wordplay used for Bayonetta to be tokenized by LGBTQ+ when there’s simply zero evidence of her being as such. Look, If LGBTQ+ gamers/non-gamers enjoy the character visually or enjoy the video games series, I am in full support of them. Bayonetta is for all gamers who are age appropriate to enjoy the game and should do so because gaming is for everyone. The only issue here is non-gamers and woke mobs trying to divide the gaming community and claiming people are marginalized or that some characters are tokenized in your identity politics when they are not.
I’m sure as wokesters fail to read this whole article, they’ll immediately label me as a phobe or bigot or even a “Nazi” when they didn’t even read this article in the first place. I am stating it now because it will only continue to prove to you how despicable the woke mob can be as they continue to mislabel everything and everyone. Whether it’s people or video game characters, they’ll say anything to try and make themselves look like they’re better than anyone else because sadly that’s what self-righteous and self-entitled people do: They try to make themselves appear superior.
For the readers who actually read this article, I want to thank you for reading and I want to let you know I appreciate the time you took to read my review on the previous Bayonetta titles and taking the time to read something that you may agree with or have an objectionable stance on and either case, I respect you for actually reading what I had to say, my opinion, and the facts I did find playing Bayonetta. It’s good to understand a new perspective and sometimes it’s scary because people may label you in some way if you do seek a new outlook, but I am glad you made that choice.
Take care and have fun gaming!