Search Results for 'last+jedi+review'

Sweet Baby Cyanide 

2013 was also the year that Zoe Quinn launched Depression Quest. A game that got aggregate scores of 9.0 from gaming journalists and 0.9 from gamers. It was hardly the first one with a ratio so freaking lopsided that it would have capsized a coal barge and it sure as hell hasn’t been the last. But then Quinn’s boyfriend(?) put up a post declaring that she had screwed five reviewers to get good reviews for Depression Quest.

In truth, I have absolutely no idea if she did the Five Guys, Reviews, and Lies thing. But it automatically fit in with a narrative about the state of gaming journalism that every gamer knew to be true.

The SJWs looked at Zoe Quinn, purple hair, piercings all over her face (and god knows where else), a history of mental illness, and a reputation for indiscriminate sexual depravity and saw one their own. They rushed to her defense, not at all certain what they were defending. After all, they didn’t play games but they knew if journalists were being accused of lying then they undoubtedly were and they needed to be defended.

Quinn didn’t particularly want to be a martyr to the cause but there were others that were happy to oblige. Brianna Wu, was the first in but was too given to making a spectacle of him/her/xim/xhr/themselves to be presentable on camera. It was too much work for journalists to make Wu look plausible as anything other than an insane attention addict.

Anita Sarkeesian became the feminist flavor of the month, despite the fact she knew so little about gaming she mistook Doom for Fallout.

The geriatric Left woke up, looked around and demanded to know who was the Hitler Nazi this time? A search was conducted to find a sympathetic authority figure in GamerGate who could declare a public surrender.

The choice of Intel may seem a strange one but you have to remember something very important; Intel has a shit-ton of money. When you saw Jesse Jackson (who had been trying for years to get his hooks into the tech sector) on stage to collect a part of Intel’s $300 million payout you knew exactly what had happened.

Democrat Senators had threatened to drag Intel before various committees for This and That, so the publicly traded corporation could be raked over the coals over their support of misogyny and scare the hell out of their investors. Intel caved big time and there was now blood in the water. Sharks came out of the depths.

This was about the time that the game studios started getting snapped up by major media conglomerates. These multinationals had no real idea what to do with gaming studios, so they were put to work making sequels of the titles that had made them famous or just sent them to the corporate IP mines if there was any trouble with those rights. Glob, I feel so sorry for Raven.

The kind of game dev who could thrive in that environment were frustrated film school grads who couldn’t get into Hollywood like Neil Cuckman. He couldn’t wait to drag Anita Sarkessian in for sensitivity reads. He was determined to make The Last of Us 2 the Last Jedi of gaming and… (long tired sigh) succeeded beyond his wildest dreams.

Multinationals, being multi-national view bribes being demanded of them as just another form of taxation which it basically is. All they want to know is “Who do I pay, to make the problem go away?”

Anita Sarkeesian who was initially quite in demand, is sadly now in the position of being yet another trailblazer who was forced out of the industry she created by upstart competitors. Meaning, companies like Sweet Baby Inc.

The newcomers aren’t just threatening corporations in exchange for shakedown money. Their shakedowns are offered as a product! They call it narrative development editing, which makes it at least sound like they are doing something besides saying, “Nice game you got there, be a shame if something happens to it.” Paying them to do sensitivity reviews to discover anything that could be problematic is just another form of insurance to these studios’ corporate overlords.

Your multimillion-dollar gaming product will be shipped with some seal of approval by one of these companies that declares that this game has supported Trans people, fought the patriarchy, beaten attractive female characters with a mid-stick, and will in no way offend the eternally offended.

You know what these games won’t have?

Players.

Review embargo has lifted, and they’re all over the place.  Multiple people are comparing it to The Last Jedi (uh oh), while others have even invoked Gremlins 2.  The discussion over this film is going to be something special.

My review is the first half was a bit more exciting than the last half of this 2021 James Bond film, No Time To Die. This film appears to have less action than all of the recent Bond films made since at least the 1990s if not the least amount of action of all the Bond films ever. Spoiler alert, 007 dies or whatever. I have to say “dies or whatever” because you never know as seen with Star Wars characters like Darth Maul and Palpatine. Like, your hate might keep you alive. They did say Anakin survived the lava due to his hate. So, Darth Vader ended up dying when his hate turned to love in Return of the Jedi.

Speaking of hate, I think I hate this movie. It looks like the black chick is going to be the next star. Perhaps, she won’t be named Janet Bond. Perhaps, they won’t try to make a black female version of Bond. But it does look like they want to have future films revolve around her which I don’t mind in some ways. But what would you call a Bond movie absent of Bond? A spin-off starring her might work.

This movie had a slow tempo and I would rather watch Austin Powers.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by joeyarnoldvn.

I thought that The Last Jedi, would be about Old man Luke Skywalker and his daughter Rey being hunted down by Kylo and the Knights of Ren.

So did I 😭

Took a look at your Star Wars manga, great art 👍

I was wondering one thing though, when I go in the site or app each chapter’s only one page, is it meant to be like that, or is that just a preview?

I just tried to review bomb The Last of Us Part 2 on Metacritic with a 10/10 BUT I wrote a sarcastic review to try and trick them.  Here’s what I wrote:

“The Last of Us Part 2 is such a masterpiece that doesn’t spit all over it’s predecessor in the slightest. After seven years of waiting fans are certainly happy to love all the Ellie/Joel interactions in the form of flashbacks as opposed to playing through those gut wrenching moments as the story goes on. And then there’s Abby, the games second playable character. I’m fascinated by Naughty Dog’s Last Jedi approach of “letting the past die, kill it if you have too” the moment we see Abby beat Joel to death with a golf club two hours into the game. Happy Father’s Day everyone! As the game progresses between present day or flashback like an episode from seasons 1-5 of Arrow we play as Ellie getting sweet revenge on Joel’s murderers John Wick style. And she killed them all, no way any of them got away scot free with fulfilment. But in the end, Ellie learns the harsh reality that when you get revenge, always dig one grave for yourself. I hope this has been enlightening, have a good day.”

With Metacritic outright blocking negative reviews my theory was that they were only approving overwhelmingly positive reviews and having moderators check the negative ones based on score alone.  Unfortunately it didn’t work as I tried twice and kept getting an error.  Turns out Metacritic has a at least one brain cell after all.  Oh well, I suppose trusting certain YouTubers and boycotting Naughty Dog are all the weapons we have left.

Update:  Disregard that previous paragraph except for my theory.  It looks like it’s possible my review went through.  Please, someone go to Metacritic and look up the review under the user name ODoyleRulez.  It’s possible my theory could transition into a hypothesis.  If we positive review bomb the game BUT write negative things, then will the review still go through.  In a few days time I’ll create a second account and leave a “positive” review without sarcasm.  My goal is to try and inverse the system.  Make Metacritic doubt every 10/10 score as sarcastic or hurtful.  Unless of course they’ve stopped blocking and deleting accounts.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by scamman93. Reason: New information, requires confirmation