WWE Fastlane 2023 results and commentary from Danny Damage!
This is the first WWE Premium Live Event since the management changed. It still looks and smells the same as before, but I’m happy to give them some time to get going without Vince McMahon’s finger inside.
Before the main show started, Tony Khan wept in his handler’s bosom as Jade Cargill was seen arriving at the arena and being greeted by Triple H.
It’s Fastlane, so cue the car/driving puns.
Winners: Cody Rhodes & Jay Uso (pinfall)
Judgment Day played the well-oiled machine; Cody and Jay Uso were the newly-formed teat with clunky chemistry to begin with. When the faces looked to have the match won, Rhea Ripley and Dirty Dom came down to cause a distraction or two.
Ripley clobbered Uso with the Money in the Bank briefcase, but Balor could only get a two-count. Cody then incapacitated Priest with a Cross Rhodes on the announce table before he and Uso combined their 1-D and Cross Rhodes on Balor for the win.
Winners: LWO & Carlito (pinfall)
As half of the LWO had been taken out beforehand, Rey Mysterio made a phone call on the pre-show to get some help. The bell rang, and the LWO started the match two-on-three while all the on-screen graphics and ringside banners promoted Pizza Hut aggressively.
The heels isolated Rey in the ring and neutralised Santos Escobar on the outside, causing Mysterio to have nobody to tag… until Carlito appeared. Once the numbers were evened up, the faces cleared house, and Carlito got the win with the Back Stabber.
Winner: Iyo Sky (pinfall)
Asuka and Iyo Sky had a decent match that was broken up now and again by Charlotte Flair’s gymnastics and face-pulling. As per usual, Charlotte was made to look really strong throughout, with the other two women needing to double-team her often.
When all three of them were down, Bayley emerged to cheer Iyo on. Charlotte got the Figure 8 on Asuka, but Bayley caused the referee to miss the tap-out. This opened the door for Iyo to hit her Over the Moonsault on Charlotte to retain her belt.
Winners: John Cena & LA Knight (pinfall)
The Bloodline kept Cena in the ring for the majority of the match. Once Cena evaded the onslaught, he made the hot tag, and the crowd blew up for LA Knight.
Knight and Cena gained control of the fight, and Knight’s Blunt Force Trauma sealed the fate of Jimmy Uso.
Winner: Seth Rollins
As you’d expect for a last man standing match, all the hardware was dragged from underneath the ring early on. Seth Rollins had his back taped up, which Shinsuke Nakamura only needed to tap to make Seth crumble to the ground in pain.
As well as breaking stuff in and around the ring, they also wandered around the arena and utilized some of the furniture a couple of times. The ending of this bout saw Seth drive Nakamura through some tech tables from a ledge above.
Although there was nothing earth-shaking on the show, Fastlane moved everyone’s stories along or brought them to a conclusion. With only five matches on the card, it didn’t outstay its welcome, and the crowd still had the energy to get into the main event. Kudos to Seth and Shinsuke for keeping the fans involved, as many would have been satisfied going home happy after Cena and LA Knight’s victory.
– OLDER RESULTS –